11/17/2023 0 Comments Star trek oops upside your head![]() ![]() It’s no secret that Trek creator Gene Roddenberry hated this movie and pronounced it “apocryphal” to the canon. It’s so bad that it’s a miracle The Final Frontier didn’t completely tank Trek movies after that. The lion’s share of the blame rests on Shatner, who reportedly refused to play Kirk unless he was allowed to direct “the ultimate Trek film”, and he wrote a movie that centered around how Kirk was. William Shatner had no place directing part 5, no decent budget or special effects house to work with, and a clunker of a plot that deserved to die an early death in the scriptwriters’ room. It confused audiences everywhere, who flocked to the Leonard Nimoy-directed Star Trek IV and then shunned an unfunny and un-fun romp to the “center of the galaxy”. I think we Trekkies all dearly wished that Trek 5 would’ve been something other than stinky poo, but for a diehard fan of the franchise, even stinky poo is accepted and defended to the bitter end. So even bad Trek was better than no Trek at all, and I’d worn thin our VHS copies of Star Treks 1-5 by the time The Undiscovered Country came out. I don’t know exactly when I stopped liking Star Trek, but college helped to enlarge my geeky world in new directions, including writing stupid movie reviews that no one read. I had an entire bookshelf full of Trek novels, I played Trek computer games, I programmed Trek computer games, I went to conventions, bought a Klingon dagger which I kept hidden under my bed in fear of my parents ever finding out, I memorized technical schematics, I engaged (heh) in a Trek role-playing BBS game, I built Enterprises out of Legos, I knew all of the episodes by heart, and I dearly wished someone would beam me the heck out of my teenage years onto a really cool spaceship. No, I wasn’t the guy who’d wear the pointy ears to school and demand that everyone call me “Lieutenant”, but I was close. I lived and breathed Trek like few others you would ever meet. Luke, you’re my only hope, let’s make out, now you find out I’m your sister, let’s never talk about this again and go inflict war on fuzzy Ewoks. There wasn’t this cool new scifi we have these days - your Battlestar Galacticas, your Farscapes, your Futuramas, your Fireflies, your Doctor Whos - in 1987 we had a choice of Trek or… well, there’s always the original Star Wars trilogy that begged for another run in the VCR. ![]() You know that kid in school who’d peel off his scabs and then eat them? I’m sure there’s a metaphor in there for me.įrom around 1987 to the dawn of my college years in 1994, I subscribed to the Church of Spock. ![]() Perhaps I should leave well enough alone, but this is a nerdy scab which will never quite heal, so long as I keep picking at it. ![]() I’ve probably made my extensive Trek reviews a drawn-out confessional starring you as the priest, and me as the guy babbling about his demented childhood affectations for this franchise. Star Trek, the haven for bumblebees buzzing around port nacelles, deserved a spot in our Mutant Viewing fare, and there is no film less deserving of that honor. You can debate Data ver 0.5, Nexuses and intelligent superprobes all you like, but very little can compete with the inanity that Star Trek V: The Final Frontier packaged in its nutty shell. The disillusioned ex-Trekkie versus the worst Star Trek film of all time. ![]()
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